Let me start by saying I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day; really I never have been. When I was a kid/teenager I didn’t like all the social pressures to get the biggest gift compared to all your friends- it made the whole day seem fake to me. Now, married with two four-legged kids and a fake son, I’m still not a big fan. V Day in my house typically means an exchange of cards and going to dinner… at some point. This morning my husband woke me up to give me my cards, and I didn’t even open my eyes. His response was, “Do you want to open these later?” I replied with a grunt, and he left for work. Romantic, eh?! I’m not a mushy, lovey person by any means. I don’t even like to be touched. So, I figured in honor of the “day of love” I would compile a list of the things that I do love.
#10: Water. Of course it’s good for hydration, and supposedly a necessity of life. However, I like playing in it. Boating, canoeing, swimming. I especially enjoy filling my mouth up with water, extending my arm, and slowly pumping my arm up and down while I squirt water out in a solid stream every time my arm goes down. I call this the “human fountain” and I do it ALL the time- even in the shower.
#9: Those little bottles of shampoos and lotions from hotels. I’ve stayed in a lot of hotels in my life and I’ve come to decide that Starwood Hotels have the best. It’s a good thing that is my hotel company of choice- which may or may not have some basis on their little bottles. I have quite the collection, and get upset when hotels put the shampoo and soaps in a pump on the wall. I understand it saves them money, but I can’t take it home then!
#8: Chocolate. No need to explain. I’m a girl. This is supposed to happen.
#7: Vodka. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’m part Russian. Sadly though, I don’t wear fur coats and walk around talking about diamonds or “offing” people. I’ve drank all kinds of alcohol before, but vodka is the only one I’m still buds with. It makes me happy, doesn’t kick my ass, or make me regret hanging out with it the next morning.
#6: Wine. Not all wines though, just some wines. They do kick my ass sometimes, but I still don’t regret it in the morning and they make me happy… and then tired.
#5: Hockey. I love the cold. This includes snow and ice, and all activities you can do in/on snow and ice. So of course, there is nothing better to me then men (or women) skating around checking each other, and eventually beating the crap out of each other. And for those of you that don’t know, hockey is MUCH more fun in the north than the south. I especially love this guy:
#4: Making fun of people. In my head- not out loud- that’s rude! I have some choice things I’d say about this girl here, but the caption does really well on its own. It’s ok honey, I had the same problem when I was a kid, and I was just as upset. Except that I didn’t have a pony, so it didn’t get stolen. Mine was more like I broke my kitten’s leg (purely accidental!) and after his leg healed my mom made me get rid of him. His name was George. The most f****d up part of it was I had to get rid of George because my mom was allergic to cats…yet she was the one to give me the freaking cat! Nothing like giving a 7-year-old kid a pet to love and cuddle with (and break its bones) only to take it away because you FORGOT you were allergic. Thanks Mom.
#3: Lame jokes. I love dry humor. Stuff that makes you roll your eyes and wish you could get back the last 10 seconds of your life. I’m not sure why, but it cracks me up, and I could laugh for hours on something so small and stupid. Especially if it’s visual. Like this:
#2: My friends. Over my life I’ve weeded out all the crappy friends that aren’t loyal and would betray me at the drop of a hat. Now I can say I have the best friends I could ever ask for. They have my back and I have theirs, and even if we don’t get to see each other that often because we all seem to be getting busier as we get older, it’s like we’ve only missed each other for a day when we do get to hang out.
#1: My family (this includes my two beautiful dogs, even though the piss me off a lot). My husband is the best; he makes me laugh, tries to give me the world on a platter, and most importantly, puts up with my crap (which isn’t easy I’m sure)! My dogs may act like bitches sometimes and get into things they shouldn’t, bark non-stop for hours, and try to trip me every chance they get, but they are also the sweetest dogs ever and will always cuddle with me. Even my extended family is great. Everyone has those people that they just tolerate because they are family, but the majority of my family are down to earth, drama-free, and will always think family is #1. They don’t care if you work in a factory or run a major corporation. They don’t care what you drive or wear or what handbag you carry. They don’t care if you’re on a diet or trying to lose weight (they still expect you to show up for Sunday dinner and eat whatever is cooked). They’ll stop what they are doing to help you out, talk to you, give you good and wise advice, or just cheer you up. They are the best.
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!